A Lifelong J.O.B.

(How To Go From Lost To Found)

Can You Resonate:

I enjoyed every minute of growing up on the Australian beaches, both the Gold and Sunshine Coast beaches served me well.

To most people the sound of a bedside alarm at 4:45am would be hell, to me, it meant nothing but smiles, the smell of surfboard wax and a glassy swell.

On A Mission:

I knew I had exactly 15 minutes to get dressed, (which wasn’t hard because I normally slept in my board shorts) and grab my surfing gear to meet the boys out front. Off we went to our secret surf spot, which we quickly discovered was not so secret at all, judging by the crowd already in the water at 5:15am. Not to worry, we always have a laugh in the water.

After years of surfing and enjoying my amazing teenage years, at age 17, I decided to apply myself to getting a 9 to 5 like I was told. Growing up, I was always educated that by completing secondary school and working hard, you would indeed give yourself the best opportunities for getting a lifelong j.o.b. I then decided to study a trade and become an Electrician.

Later On In Life:

Fast forward a few years (15 in fact), and at age 35 I sit here reviewing my life. I ponder the what ifs, and how comes. I question every fork in the road that I was offered and try to imagine what the other choices would have presented.

The accolades, the freedom, the kids, the nightmares, the travel, the finances, letting my mind run free to imagine an unimaginable world, I soon drift off. With a mixture of smiles and tears spread across my face, I finally arise from my deep trance, I quickly have a realisation, and one that would change the direction of my life forever.

A Cross Road:

The day had come for me to question my current path….

As I dreamt about my potential, I similtaneously thought about my family, my little girl Charlotte, my mortgage and my mind, as roadblock after roadblock presented itself to my explorative way of thinking.

It felt like I had to decide on that day, whether my life was now going to be full of discovery, exploration and purpose, or was it going to be about, following the pack….?

It didn’t take me long to declare, that I needed to explore what was ‘out there’ for me, so I decided that I would have to face my fears once and for all. I knew I had to commit to trying new things in life, things that most of my friends did not agree with.

I am glad I did….

The Freedom Of Being A Teen:

Before all this mental trouble kicked in, the biggest questions I faced on a daily basis, was how much trouble I was willing to get into with my parents. You see while in my teens, the only restrictions that I had on me, was my curfew. The all-important time we had all agreed on, as to when I would be safely back inside the family home each night.

This always depended on my previous track record of course, but more importantly, it would also be a direct influence on how much I was willing to a bend the rules tonight. I wasn’t aware of how one would go from lost to found at this point.

Wrong direction:

Two things had just become apparent to me while riding aimlessly along at age 14, one was that my mates were creating havoc on a footpath only wide enough for pedestrians, and the other, was that I was still headed in a direction that was not getting me any closer to my house. While noticing the nearby shopkeepers beginning to lock up for the night, I knew I had to make a decision.

“Boys”, I screamed, knowing that I had to break through the uncontrollable laughter that was occurring due to the ridiculous footpath behaviour.

“I’m off”, I yelled as the group came to a skidding halt.

“Whaaat”, they replied, “you’re not coming to the skate park, you loser”.

“Nope, I gotta go”, I said confidently, as I knew their peer pressure tactics had always resulted in my derailment in the past. So, I quickly headed in the opposite direction before a team ambush occurred….

Nowadays, it’s easy to get derailed with f.o.m.o ….

Day in, day out as a teen, I pushed the boundaries of life, and I did so because I knew the only failure, I would witness was a little grounding. There was no real repercussion from my spontaneous actions, no bankruptcy, no divorce, no job loss and so on. I don’t mean that my parents didn’t care about my whereabouts or what I was up to, actually it was quite the opposite.

The point:

I am trying to make is, life was easy because pain and failure didn’t really exist.

My mind wasn’t worried about how tomorrow was going to pan out, or how others would judge me for my actions. I simply went with the flow and called the shots on the spot.

Getting Lost:

As I stood tall on the outside during my young adult years, I struggled to maintain my posture with the increasing mental weight on the inside. Feeling lost in life is one of the most frustrating things you will experience, and the sad reality is, we will all experience it at least once in our lives.

So how do you go from lost top found?

At age 35, I asked every hard hitting question known to man. Things like, am I really headed in the right direction?, do I really want to be an electrician for the rest of my life? Oh yeah, and what is my life purpose….?

Mass confusion and panic:

They all kicked in from that day forth… And unbeknown to me – I was throwing fuel on the fire with poor questions.

Picture this for a moment…..

I was lost in life and beginning my search for something, another thing you need to know, is that I didn’t know what I was actually searching for……Let alone what I would do with it once I found it.

Note: My book – The Awoken Mind – Speaks in-depth about how I lost my way (Booktopia Link)

My Dreams:

While setting off on my new enthusiastic mission to answer all of my unanswered questions, I had high expectations of myself. I began asking everyone for the answers to life, I asked everyone from friends, family members, to successful business owners, hell, I even asked celebrities, but in the end, I got the same old answer in return. ‘Troy, just keep looking and one day you will find it’…

That only made me look twice as hard, and around the age 37, massive anxiety and an overwhelming frustration towards life, threw a major spanner in the works. I stopped my search for the answers because I was lost.

And crumbled to my knees…

I wanted to go from lost to found – but it would seem my mental acuity was not ready to take the leap just yet!

The Second guess:

At this time, I had changed most of my old habits and replaced them with new ones, I had dropped away most of my old friends and surrounded myself with new inspiring ones. I had done everything the books tell you do in order to change your life, ‘7 Habits’, ‘The Four-Hour Work Week’, ‘Think and Grow Rich’, ‘The Power Of Thought’, ‘Stuart Lichtman Works’…. I had read and done it all, but in the end, I was still spinning the wheels of life and my mind turned on me.

Is it time:

For me to return with my tail between my legs? Do I once again become a full-time electrician and simply pick up where I left off? Should I concentrate on being the best tradie for the remaining 30 years of my working career? What about my hopes, dreams and desires of changing the world for the better, do I simply place them in a box and hope they disappear from my mind and my heart forever?

The stupidest thing of all, was my continuing to ask these types of questions because I didn’t have the answers for any of them.

No Action:

By asking, I wasn’t going from lost to found at all – I was remaining lost.

I wondered if I continued on my path of discovery in the hope of finding the answers, would I crumble even further from the pressure. If I returned to work, would I be frustrated each and every day I remained there. I couldn’t win, or at least that’s what I was telling myself. Where does this end, I thought to myself…..

Saying No To The Skatepark:

If you’re like me, and have a thirst for asking the big questions in life, I don’t mean the ‘what’s my purpose’ type questions either, I believe by asking the real hard hitting questions like, have I been truly honest with myself about what I want my future to look like. Is what I have been doing to date, for me?

Or, has it been to impress or please someone else instead. This is actually life’s true purpose by the way!
In today’s society, it’s very easy to get coerced into continuing on to the ‘skatepark’, to succumb to peer pressure because the worry of being labelled, far out ways the joy of personal success you would achieve by chasing your own dreams..

Easy to follow the crowd:

It’s easy to live a life that is focussed on pleasing others, and it’s easy to simply fit in. But when it comes down to the day you’re about to depart from this earth, who the hell wants to simply ‘fit in’. You and I are the kind of people who want to leave a mark on this world, we want to be remembered as the person who was always confident to pursue their own endeavours, and in doing so, inspired those around us to do the same.

You might not even realise the lives you have changed while on the road of self-mastery! The little things you do, the decisions you make and the amount of heart and soul you poor into everything you do, has a profound effect on those around you. Inadvertently you have changed the course of many lives and done so, by simply by being you. Others see and hear that it’s ok to stand up for your values and beliefs, that it’s ok to go against the crowd if it means chasing your dreams, so they in turn, decide (as a result of your behaviour) to change their life direction for the better also.

Road Of Life Mastery:

The best place to begin this quest is where you are, and the only time you will get to make any decision is right now. I mentioned, when I was young that I used to surf and ride my bike all the time, I want to highlight that my daily decisions were not made with too much thought, I had an idea, and I made a quick decision.

That is what most of our teenage years were like, spontaneously flowing with life. The road of mastery is not some destination, it is in fact the place where you stand right here and now, it materialises the moment you decide to pursue your dreams with all your heart and soul. But it also disappears the moment you forgo on your values, by placing someone else’s best interests first, at the expense of your own.

So, how do I find my own ‘individual path’…?

Going From Lost To Found:

The story of self-mastery is simple – ‘Know Thyself’… As annoyingly simple as this sounds, it troubles many. Your Life purpose is to leave a legacy, it is to contribute to this world in some way shape or form, and the only way to leave a true legacy of your own, is to know what it is you’re capable of.

Simply begin to study yourself in all that you do, ask the hard-hitting questions. One’s like; is what I’m doing for my own best interests, or are my actions really to keep someone else happy? You will begin to notice where you are going wrong, you will notice those areas that are not so enjoyable for you but for some reason you continue to do them.

What Next:

From this point on do not get angry with yourself, because this would be you stepping off the path of self-mastery. Actually, congratulate yourself for discovering the areas that have been hidden to you until now, and know that these are now your main areas of focus and transformation.

Get honest with where you are in life……
The rest is simply a journey of Self Discovery and Transformation….

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